Katye

mindlesskt @ 2007-11-20T21:58:00

2007-11-21T03:02:26Z

i've had so many emotions in the last hour. but for now, i'm happy and comforted. you have your place and your friends who are there for you through this shitty night. i have mine who do the same. it makes me happy that even if we're not talking, we'll never be alone. we had each other at such a young age and through the past 2 decades we branched out and met wonderful people. even if it is the end of an era, it is the beginning of a new one. if i have to accept it, i will. i'm thankful for all those memories. watching the montage (?) made me cry so hard it hurt. it filled up my heart. i lashed out about it because i don't have that anymore. but i'm glad to have had the past, even if it can't be my future. it is better that i had it and it ended the way it did, then never had it to begin with. it hurts now, we miss being those nerdy kids. the pain will go away eventually.

i hope one day we won't be mad at each other. we were so lucky to have what we had. maybe we just grew out of each other. our personalities didn't work together like they used to. everything stopped being silly and funny. it'll be alright.

every time i see a 711, catholic school kids, lip rings or two little girls playing on a playground, i won't cry. but i will smile, knowing that you're okay and i am too.

mindlesskt @ 2007-09-27T12:01:00

2007-09-27T16:14:08Z

I can joke about it all I want. I'll get pretty wigs like Britney has. If I shave my head, Mike will certainly support me and shave his, too. Make myself feel better, not worry about it. But when your hair is coming out in mini-clumps, and you can feel it getting thinner and thinner on your head, all you can do is throw it in the garbage and try not to cry. I got blood tests done on Tuesday and I'm anxiously waiting for results. I'm fucking scared.

stolen from vanessa

2006-12-22T18:44:10Z

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? gone crabbing
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I actually did, and I plan to do it again
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? nope
4. Did anyone close to you die? nope
5. What countries did you visit? didn't have the chance to visit any place
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? a good paying job
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? january 22nd <3
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? graduating college, seeking therapy
9. What was your biggest failure? my willpower
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nothing too bad
11. What was the best thing you bought? i don't know
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my good friends
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? a few in particular. i stopped putitng up with it and ended those friendships, though.
14. Where did most of your money go? fooooood
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? when mike would visit me at school, the hampton's, the beach, parties, and now SWEATER PARTY TONIGHT!
16. What song will always remind you of 2006? ridin' dirty
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier i think
thinner or fatter? HUGE
richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? black tar heroin, prostituting myself
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? drinking, smoking, spending time and emotions on shitty people
20. How will you be spending Christmas/Eve? eve: with michael and his niece (she turns 1 that day); xmas: connecticut with dad's fam, then in yorktown with michael
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? yeah, it's pretty rad.
23. How many one-night stands? none
24. What was your favorite TV program? nip/tuck, project runway
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hate is a strong word. strongly dislike, yes.
26. What was the best book you read? the devil wears prada, some chuck klosterman books
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? snow patrol
28. What did you want and get? a good guy, place to live, diploma, new friends
29. What did you want and not get? a good job
30. What was your favorite film of this year? clerks II, the departed
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 22, went to work, then had dinner and cupcakes with michael, teen, andrew and rico.
32.What was one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? more money, less weight, less shitty people.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? i don't have a fashion concept, i just wear clothes.
34. What kept you sane? meds and mike
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? the hot docs from nip/tuck, dane cook
36. What political issue stirred you the most? well obviously gay rights since i worked for HRC. there are so many people out there with closed eyes, it's insane.
37. Who did you miss? oneonta, college friends, caity, ann marie
38. Who was the best new person you met? mike's friends who are now my friends :)
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: karma is still a bitch, all good things come to those who wait, don't trust so easily, and eating lots of chocolate WILL make you fat again.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: i'm bringing sexy back.

mindlesskt @ 2006-12-04T15:58:00

2006-12-04T19:58:16Z

life:

Right now I'm sitting at a desk at my dad's job. I quit my job last month and have been working on projects for my dad and babysitting a lot. I'm actually making more money now doing those things than from when I was working for HRC. I miss it there sometimes, but it's just too damn cold to be street canvassing five hours a day and the pay sucked. Since I don't work for them anymore I signed up as a member of HRC, so I'm continuing to fight the good fight!

I went to Oneonta this weekend for Kerry's birthday. It was really weird to be back, but some of it was good. I don't miss college as much as I thought I would.

Time to continue labeling envelopes for a Martha Stewart mailing. Only 2100 more to go!

mindlesskt @ 2006-10-21T21:17:00

2006-10-22T01:20:26Z

I never give up on friends that I love dearly. However, you have become the exception. I'm done trying to be there for you and letting things slide, and I'm done trusting you and believing in you. You show me time after time that you don't need me and you don't care. So here you go; I quit.

mindlesskt @ 2006-10-10T20:23:00

2006-10-11T00:30:03Z

this morning, I woke up to a phone call from michael. our friend has stage 2 ovarian cancer. she's only 25. she has chemo on thursday, and mike is going to shave her head, as well as his own. so, I decided that i want to chop off my hair as well. not only for support, but then I could donate it to Locks of Love. she's such a good person...why her? i know all too well that cancer is not picky when it comes to picking its victims.

back to work tomorrow, i don't feel sick anymore. in my first week, i raised 740$ for the LGBT's woohoo!!!

tomorrow is also that dreaded/celebrated day. it will be fun, but there's always that anxious feeling i get. i really hope she calls and that she's okay...

mindlesskt @ 2006-10-02T18:57:00

2006-10-02T23:02:15Z

I got a job!!

Tomorrow I start working for the Human Rights campaign. They are the nation's largest gay and lesbian civil rights group. They fight to end discrimination and acheive equality, as well as trying to stop Congress from amending the Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. I'm all about these issues so I'm thrilled to be involved. WOO HOO!

My brother turns 20 today, I feel so old.

mindlesskt @ 2006-07-07T16:05:00

2006-07-07T20:06:59Z

well, it's official. i feel like a failure and i'm having an emotional breakdown.

mindlesskt @ 2006-05-04T11:12:00

2006-05-04T15:15:16Z

I have a little over 2 weeks left. I'm sad I guess, but I'm happy to get away from certain people. I hate girls. More than that, I hate fake girls. I hate fake girls who pretend to be my friend. I feel like I'm in 7th grade again; only this time, I won't waste my time on them.

I'll be living in midtown next year. I'm psyched. I just wish Mike could live with me again. All in good time...

mindlesskt @ 2006-04-22T14:35:00

2006-04-22T18:46:09Z

six random facts about yourself go!
1. I graduate from college 4 weeks from today.
2. Brown and green are my new pink.
3. I'm quitting pot. My memory is shot, it makes me paranoid, and I'll be getting a job soon which might drug test...those are just a few of the reasons.
4. I have 31 first cousins and 2 step-cousins.
5. My favorite person iin the world is James, my younger brother.
6. I want to get married in May of 2010, 2011. I'm sure everyone knows who the groom will be ;)

mindlesskt @ 2006-03-01T23:36:00

2006-03-02T04:53:57Z

i'm sorry, but i'm really happy that piece of shit called jess w. deleted her myspace. i'm even happier that the reason she deleted it was because a lot of people deleted her. the reason is because her display name was "j. fag". anyone who knows me knows how much i hate that word, so i had no problem deleting the girl. this is the same idiot who said "faggot" in the company of my gay friend.
i'm really sick of this shit, but i'm glad other people were as pissed as i was. i'm sick of hearing crap like "but my friend is gay" or "but i don't mean faggot as in gay! i meant it as...." just don't fucking say it.

obviously, i'm irritable. it's mostly because i'm sick and i'm pretty cranky. it's okay, tomorrow will be better. i have work from 12-5, then hanging out with my love and lovelies in yorktown.

mindlesskt @ 2006-01-26T12:08:00

2006-01-26T17:09:02Z

this could be love.

mindlesskt @ 2006-01-06T16:20:00

2006-01-06T21:19:16Z

i haven't updated in a while, and i'm bored so i figured i'd jot some stuff. new years was fun, just chilled and drank with kerry, tim, and megan. rom's birthday was a few days later and that kicked ass. everyone got together at my house and had a great time, amy and kristi were a riot (i've never seen them drunk before). i felt bad for mike who had to deal with the drunkies and smoke, but he's always a good sport about that.

the last week of my break is going to rock. tonight i'm heading out to jerz with the gang for the weekend. then tomorrow is ikea time and uncle pappy's foooooooood. walter finally comes back from columbia. for the good part of mon-fri i'll be staying at my dad's place in manhattan, which always makes me happy. time to finish packing for anthteendrewnessa's.

mindlesskt @ 2005-12-24T21:31:00

2005-12-25T02:33:55Z

i don't know how to feel about this. somehow, it's easier to breathe.

he just threw it all away...and i don't feel bad for him.

i'm free of you. there's nothing i wanted more for my last semester.

i knew everything would be okay someday. a merry christmas it is :)

mindlesskt @ 2005-12-20T15:09:00

2005-12-20T20:23:34Z

) Was 2005 a good year for you?
yup, one of the best

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
hampton's, halloween, my birthday, san fran

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
least favorite people...

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
andrew's apt.

5) Who were you with?
teen, andrew, anthony, mike, jess, rico...yup that's definitely it hahaha

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
no idea

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
kerry so far

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
yup, for the first time ever. i lost weight and quit cigs (kept that kinda)

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
yes! lose more weight, quit cigs and weed, and stay away from boys who are wrong for me

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
yes

11) If yes, with who?
criss angel and ryan gosling hehe

12) If yes, do they know?
haha...they're too famous...but i'm meeting criss with kerry on the 27th for a dvd signing if anyone wants to go!

14) You regret it?
hell no, he's the man

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
nope, first year without a break up in a while, woohoo!

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
yup!

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
vanessa, kastro, people at school

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
i can't pick just one...the entire year rocked

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
nope

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
ny, jersey, ct, california - 4

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
not this year thankfully

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yeah, but i'm done with that.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
sin city

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
l'via - mars volta

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
with teeth - nin

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
just one. the roots

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
i guess it was the roots lol

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
haha. stupid question. next

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
you mean a lot as in many kinds of a lot of one kind?

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
more people than you did

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
blacking out, then taking off my pants after i puked on them and begging jeremy not to have sex with me. 21st birthday was a hit!

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
that they cared about me

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
yes...

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
understatement

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
too much

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
stepping on the scale, (most of) my grades

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
cant think off the top of my head

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
no comment

40) What are your plans for 2006?
graduating, moving out, getting a job, maybe even a boyfriend if i find one worthy enough.

mindlesskt @ 2005-12-18T14:34:00

2005-12-18T19:38:51Z

YAY it's jersey party day! i'm so excited to see everyone. i love getting home for winter break. it's christmas time, and i love being home for longer than a week.

yesterday we partied at jeremy's. there were scummy guys there. however, i'm really lucky because i have guy friends that make sure i'm safe and protect me from the scum.

rico, you need to hurry up with your tofuness so we can go to jersey!!!!!

ska usually makes me happy

2005-11-05T22:15:35Z

i don't feel like explaining how i feel for the millionth time, or about how i got that bruise on my knuckle. this song tells it all and i love it because it's too uppity to make me cry.

Well, hello. How are you? Won't you pull up a chair? Won't you tell me your story because I really do care about talking away. Here's to me, to you, to us, to everything, I hope it never falls apart. We're talking away. Well you look so fine, and you seem so kind, and I've got to say that i'm having a good time dancing away. Here's to me, to you, to us, to everything, I hope it never falls apart. We're dancing away. Could things get any better now? If they can, I cannot see how, but as the time goes by, you stop and sigh. You stop and sigh and then you wonder why. I can't stop this feeling, as i'm walking away, and I could never understand half the things you'd say, as we're walking away. Goodbye to me, to you, to us, to everything, because it fell apart, as we're walking away. Things weren't better then. You felt that you had to pretend. But as the time goes by, you stop & sigh. You stop and sigh and then you wonder why.

-Catch 22

cry a river, build a bridge, and throw yourself over it.

2005-10-24T05:10:47Z

weekend was fantastic. except for the freezing rain.

wow, you're really lucky you are who you are. if you weren't, you'd get fucked up. that's all i'm going to say, enough hating.

mindlesskt @ 2005-10-15T03:53:00

2005-10-15T07:55:07Z

i wish i could make the pain go away. i hope you get some sleep tonight...

mindlesskt @ 2005-08-26T19:29:00

2005-08-26T23:30:16Z

your eyes still give me the chills when you look back into mine. i can't take all this blue-grey confusion.

mindlesskt @ 2005-07-16T09:01:00

2005-07-16T13:11:29Z

even if we were given another chance, the second time around wouldn't be as satisfying as before. things are so great between us, he's one of my best friends. we're over eachother, but there are times when i look back. even if that were to happen, it wouldn't feel new. new is a great feeling. but then again, so is the familiar...i'm just fixed on memories. our time is over. i don't miss gio as a boyfriend, i miss the IDEA of having a boyfriend.

i need memories of someone new.

mindlesskt @ 2005-05-02T01:20:00

2005-05-02T05:21:32Z

seriously though. NOTHING beats the first kiss. it's time to float to bed now.

mindlesskt @ 2005-03-27T13:27:00

2005-03-27T18:38:35Z

man. i'm going through stuff in my room to throw out and i came across three shoe boxes. they are FILLED with letters and notes my friends wrote to me in high school. looking back, i can't believe i got out of there alive, haha. but really, it makes me so sad. we used to write "BFF" and it meant so much back then. forever only lasts til graduation...
i miss liz goudie. today she turns 21, i can't fucking believe it. i remember going to a slumber party on her 9th birthday when we were huge dorks. you know, that girl has done/said some shitty things in the past, but i realized i did too. we have completely different lives now, rarely see eachother, but when we get together it's JUST like old times when we used to putt around IHS. looking through all our old notes made me laugh and cry at the same time. i really had no idea at the time how quick everything would pass me.
now the same thing is happening with college which is even scarier.

ok i'm not going to worry about that now. i have to shower and get ready to go to CT with my dad. i get to eat good food and play with adorable babies all day. yay for easter.

happy easter!

mindlesskt @ 2005-03-24T07:38:00

2005-03-24T12:40:15Z

home today, again. i need this break more than the last. i guess because of all the work.

4 weeks since i've been clean of nicotine. well, not completely clean...i've had two full cigarettes and random drags from people since then. but compared to how i used to smoke, that's nothing! yay me.

time to go to class then rush finishing my paper.

mindlesskt @ 2005-03-04T09:13:00

2005-03-04T14:19:05Z

yay it's the weekend. i think i did okay on my anthropology test and i was productive this week. enough reason to party tonight, heh. i'm in training for st. patrick's day!

we hung out with gio for a little bit last night. the gio i know and love is back. i'm glad he realizes now just how much he pushed us to the curb after he got into the fraternity. i missed him. but this time, not romantically as an ex, but as my best friend.

i miss al. i got him really sick. my bad.

8 days! i'm doing so good!

have a good weekend everyone. <333